did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
