Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
