I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
