Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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