And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
