And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
