we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The air was thick with penises
I didn't notice because vodka
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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