Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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