what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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