Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
