The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
