I feel like I'm in dance class right now
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I think my moral compass just broke
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