That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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