so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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