You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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