I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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