mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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