But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
