a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
