I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm gonna fight the coyote
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize