Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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