i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Drake has all the answers
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
