Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
