She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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