So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
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I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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