I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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