It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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