She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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