When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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