Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
