She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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