This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
