Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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