Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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