she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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