My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
