Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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