i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
