I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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