I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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