I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
