Need sex. Gaining weight.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
