How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i can't believe i had my finger in that
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
