i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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