well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
is wine microwaveable?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
