Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
