hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
