My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Did you just see the Batmobile???
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
