somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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