I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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