That's intense
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
