New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
