no, he came in my armpit
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
