The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
