I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
