No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
