Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
