My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
