Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize