Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
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just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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