Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
